I was out with a couple of girls who were in public for the first time last week and they reminded me of how few terms of reference there are for what to expect when its your débutante time out. So I thought I might just add a few of my own observations.
Firstly the fact is that you have to have a long discussion with yourself about why you want to go out and what you want to get out of it. Do you want to meet people, do you just want to get out of the confines of your own isolated home world, or for some fun exhibitionism or clothes shopping or just to be able to walk 500 metres in high heels.
Secondly do you really feel ready for the emotional roller-coaster that is about to ensue. I was out on a first date with one my girls some weeks ago and all I asked her to do was move round the car from driver side to passenger seat whilst dressed. It took her 45 minutes to pluck up the courage. Nowadays try to stop her going out!!!
That first step is quite hard but beware over thinking it too much. The mind games you can play with yourself are myriad. Approach it from the thought 'what is the most likely thing that may happen if someone sees me.
When you do manage to pluck up the courage to take that first step out you have to realise that all your senses and feelings will be on red alert. Everything is heightened, Particularly for an adrenaline junkie! This is quite a turn on as you are doing something a bit naughty that is frowned on by some members of society with limited mental resources! You will over-analyse every situation, you will think everyone is looking at you and clocking you as a tranny. You will worry you will meet someone who you know and that you will be outed, anyone who so much looks in your direction is a potential problem.
In my experience these things rarely happen. Let's get a couple of things straight. Going out dressed today is far less daunting than it was over 15 years ago when I first took girls out. Transvestism is on the border of becoming mainstream and a vast majority of people now accept it as commonplace. The number of venues that welcome T's has grown exponentially in the last two years. They now see them as adding co!our and fun to their venues. Why even Primark now says they can change in either men's or women's changing rooms.
Everywhere is much more accepting and helpful towards you girls so there are far less barriers and prejudice than in the past. So do try to relax.
That being said there are still a few numpties out there who get a cheap kick from having a go. They are rare beasts but beware they exist. I was out at the races the other day when a drunken real girl started commenting on the T-girls I was with, her friends apologised immediately and 2 other guys who were sitting at the bar immediately came across and asked if they could have their pictures taken with the girls. Time have changed so much! But who cares about what people say its more about what you think.
What you wear is also important. You have to feel confident in the outfit you have selected. It shouldn't get in the way on this night. For the future the shorter showy dresses as worn by my partner Tara may be fine but for now you are concentrating on what you do and one thing you do not want a wardrobe malfunction.
Regarding shoes you may be able to walk around the house in 5 inch heels for a few minutes but when you get past 100 metres you will wish those little 3 inch kitten heels were with you. Eventually if you are not used to spending several hours in heels your calves will collapse and you will be staggering like a drunk. They are just not used to it. As a precaution take a pair of flats in your handbag. For reference your handbag should contain a minimum of lipstick, mascara, hairbrush, perfume/deodorant, telephone, cash, spare stockings ,nail glue, keys, glasses (sunglasses?), hand-wipes, a pashmina style scarf and spare false eyelashes and glue if you are wearing them. Shape-wear is important for the look but re!member you will be wearing it for 2-3 hours at least so lighter support rather than a heavy corset is the best bet. Finally a coat covers a lot of things so do wear a light Mac.
So you are off with those pterodactyl butterflies in your stomach. Plan the venue ahead don't go on spec. Try to meet someone you know sometime in the daytime/evening as its better as a pair or group. Come out with my Susie's Angels group.
Sit on the side of the bar/restaurant to start and if you feel bolder then move to the more open ground. But get used to the situation and watch what is going on. In many cases a good start is A TV night somewhere such as the BNO at Pink Punters at Milton Keynes on the second Friday of the month is a great venue for virgins! Set yourself little tasks as the evening progresses. A walk around the venue. The loo to replace your lipstick, The extra drink order, a dance, talk to someone on the table next to you etc. All these are designed to build your confidence and prove that there is little to be scared of in going out.
Someone will chat to you think about what you might say. Don't flirt at first just keep it straight until you feel comfortable with being chatted up. The loo question is always delicate. It comes down to where you feel most comfortable. Tara's method is that in a straight bar she uses the men's and a cubicle. In a gay bar she uses whichever is the least busy. But by default use the ladies, less cubicles but more relaxed and most girls will help you if have the bottle to ask them. They get some fun out of it as well believe it or not! Remember movement posture and manners are key watchwords and the more feminine your mannerisms the more people will call you madame and not sir! Don't round the shoulders and do relax them. Sit up straight. Smile smile smile! It is amazing by smiling and looking someone in the eye conflict situations abate quite rapidly. Always treat people as you would wish to be treated.
Alcohol in moderation is an absolute must. It does not give you confidence but a small glass does calm the nerves. And a drunk Tranny is not a pretty sight! Dancing yes but again unless you are an exhibitionist get a grip on those falling arms. Chat to people but don't chat up people that will most likely come on to you. Even though you might be in quite an excited, even aroused state you should avoid this at this juncture? You will be sending out the wrong messages and confusing them and you have enough of your own problems to contend with!
On your return home you will be exhilarated at the experience and on a real high. Taking your clothes and make-up off will be a nasty come down but just relax and look at it as a great experience and an opportunity to do it again sometime when the urge takes you.
I do escorted trips if you need a helping hand and also run a group called Susie's Angels where we would be delighted to see you. XXX