Last week in a dressing a lovely girl became a little depressed by the fact that she was a size 20 and not the size 0 she would love to be. But with a little work some clever shapewear and an honest conversation she left in a much much happier vein. This of course got me to thinking there must be so many closeted souls in exactly the same situation so I thought I would summarise the gist of our chat in this week’s blog.
Be realistic with yourself
I was not born with a 5'10 size zero model’s body that I would love to have. I as a woman have to accept my limitations so must you. Don’t be cajoled by the media into thinking everybody can have that perfect shape. You were born male and your body shape is different. Women have curves and you have to create a look that emulates a comparative shape that recognises your body’s limitations. Take a good look at yourself in the mirror and try to establish the body shape you have. If you need help then style makeover can possibly help. When you have found a ‘your’ female shape then got to the web, magazines and newspapers to see how you compare and see what they are wearing. This is about actively looking at the type of woman you want to be, not just passively flicking through magazines. All women, no matter what size, height or weight they are can look good in all situations. But you have to put in a bit of legwork to get some ideas…or visit a dressing service like mine!!!
Start to feel feminine
This may sound odd but you need to take on that girl you see yourself becoming. I see so many girls who when they are dressing physically and mentally change their mind-set. They can become giggly, touchy feely or go very quiet. Their whole demeanour and persona can change quite rapidly as they transform into the feminine form they like.
To do this I find that certain things really do the trick.
- Shaving that ugly male body hair is probably the most erotic sensation. Your are removing what nature gave you and the sensation of smooth skin is truly mesmeric. Now I know that for some this is not possible but even trimming down a little of what is there also gives the girl inside a real boost.
- Breast forms are such a fantastic enhancer of the curves women have, and the physical sensation of this weight in front of you lends power to that girl within.
- Shapewear be it girdles corsets or Spanx clothing all add to that curvy allure that comes with the underwear as well as a fetish is an incredible step towards femininity
- I could add in other items such as high heels or wigs or make up but I see these as givens the rest we have to work at.
Shopping for your look
Now I know that shopping for women’s clothing may fill many of you with horror. But at the end of the day most of the bigger stores do not give a damn about who you are shopping for, they just want your money. From the experience of many of my girls they say most of the assistants are very happy to offer you advice if you ask and in many cases they let you have a private area to try it on…but that is probably too far for you at the moment. No the main thing is to get out and look at your chosen style in the flesh. Seeing it on the internet is not the right start. Window shopping is a far better way. You can start to look at colours and styles to suit. This was quite a nice short article from the Daily Mail on what colours suit you. When you have done your research you can always go back to the net!
Accept you will not get it right first time
This is part of the fun of dressing. Trying on different styles until you find one that suits you . So many of my girls have lots items in their wardrobe that they now know do not suit them. They thought that something would be ideal but their shoulders, or chest, or waist or bottom or thighs just looked too big, small or awkward in them. So they languish in a suitcase in the attic never to come out. Its just part of the voyage of self-discovery. You should note that there are always general common mistakes as addressed by Catherine Montalbo or Donna Galella to help you a little but unfortunately we all have to travel that path!
The crux however is to think of this as a pleasure and not a chore, it’s a journey not a trek and its most enlightening when you find your true self.