There is s drive within so many of my girls to get out. Once they have had a couple of dressings within the ‘safety’ Chateau Femme most of them then have a desperate urge to get out. I think its a natural progression. You have made the first step of coming to see me to dress and maybe a few photos.
You realise that you don’t look that bad at all, you get a real buzz out if it and now you need to spread your wings. For some its a totally natural progression, they need some appreciation from the world that what they are doing is not really such bad thing. For others they just need someone else to say you look pretty good. For a few it’s the pure kick they get from challenging society’s norms which say the shouldn’t really be doing this. Others just want to party! Whatever the reason its a normal step forward if you can overcome the fear inside.
My partner Tara Fairchild wrote very succinctly in her blog about how fear stops us from doing the thing we really want to and how it keeps us in the closet. Fear of being discovered fear of being outed, fear of not looking right and fear of well fear! As she said we overthink things and its not really as big a deal as we make in our minds. The best thing for your first time is to go out on an escorted visit. In this way you at least have someone show you the ropes and provide moral support. Going out with other girls might seem a good idea but to be honest they are principally interested in what they get out of the night. Remember this is one of their few nights out and they are not truly interested in babysitting a newbie at the expense of their fun!
I have been doing this for so many years without any repercussions and guiding a girl through her debut has become a speciality. Letting her make enough small mistakes to learn but correcting her on major errors is a vital part of what I try to do to ensure that the time is both educational as well as euphoric. So I thought I would give you an insight into some of the outings I have taken girls on their first foray into the big wide world and perhaps put your minds at rest…well a little anyway!
First evenings tend to split into 3 distinct types:
- Cocktails and Dinner – very much a one-to-one situation where we just go out and enjoy being in public in a safe and welcoming bar-cum-restaurant that I know is very T-friendly. But lets be honest most places these days are very T-friendly as they want the business and with all the legal issues they fear being sued, so have to be friendly. These evenings allow you to have a calm relaxed time where we discuss your femme persona and how you feel in public and see how you interact with the general public.
- Girls Night – where we join group of other T-girls who are out to have a great night on the town or at least for part of the evening until you get a little weary, as some of these girls can party forever! In this case you are very much part of a defined group and the dynamics focus on you interacting with other T-Girls understanding what they are about and realising that you are not alone and your wants and fears are similar to others. But girl will they talk about themselves!
- T-Girl Nights – such as the BNO or Leeds First Friday or The Way Out Club where we join a multitude of others who are just out for one big party. Thisisi where you are a small part of a very big event. There are lots of ‘girls’ around and so many things to see. Its a lot less personal but there is so much going on and so much to do its deciding what to do next that dominates your thoughts.
Once you choose the type of night its a case of where and when. Most girls tend to settle for a restaurant in my area of Dorset for their starting point as its away from home and the anonimity of the area helps them relax a bit more. But other places involving a hotel stay can be just as much fun. Though you will at times have to run the gauntlet of reception or the bar, who in reality have seen everything, and I mean everything! Then its off to get dressed. For the purposes of this blog I am going to focus on a restaurant night out.
For your first night I try to ensure you are both comfortable and don’t stand out too much, unless you want to! So I tend to stop at the micro mini skirt or the PVC thigh boots and pink wig, at least at first. I try to make sure your shapewear is comfortable to sit and eat in, you wear heels that you can walk in for a couple of hours and the wig is not constantly in your face and food. Make up tends to take advantage of your natural features and not too dramatic. Eyelashes, nails, jewellery, a good coat and the compulsory handbag are vital pre-requisites as part of the preparation to get you in the right mind-set. Then a big breath and into the Taxi. This is where the nerves can kick in and you start asking why am I doing this? But as the evening progresses they are quickly subsumed by nervous excitement that you are finally out.
You will enter a bar or restaurant and people will naturally turn to look at who is coming in. We all naturally do it and its not necessarily aimed at you.Though you will cut a dramatic style and some eyes will linger on you a little longer but this is only natural. Hold my hand darling and we are on our way to our table. The people at the next table will look at you fleetingly and if you have the guts say hi this puts them off their guard and breaks the ice. But in reality the evening now turns to a normal dinner where you are just part of the diners in the restaurant The only rider to this tends to be if there is a group of girls on the table next to us. Invariably one always breaks the ice and comes across to say how good you look. I don’t know why this is but women feel they have to tell T-girls they look great. They instinctively know that is what you are searching for as probably they in turn know that is what they want as well. Tip for dating free of charge, and by the way always mention the shoes or dress when saying thank you to the girl!
Conversation at dinner tends to be about life as a Tranny. Occasionally I will correct you if I think you are sitting improperly (particularly legs akimbo) posture and table manners are a little incorrect and demeanour is wrong. Please accept this is purely to help your girl side its not meant as a criticism. We are just trying to get a bit of the boy out of the girl! I counsel not too drink too much as tipsy high heel walking is quite an art form. Once dinner is over its decision time as to where to go. Bar or Club. Depends how you feel but I normally take girls to a local club (Gay) that is very very welcoming to our community. Not that I have anything against other clubs its just the clientele here are a bit more mature and you do not feel like most of the other clientele’s parent!
Conversation here becomes a lot more stilted because of the noise and now we try your first dance in heels. Just keep it simple to start with, then party! Then when I detect that your legs cannot take anymore in heels (and believe me your calves eventually give way!) its time for home and the trial of taking the girl off. It is a real downer for some as they are on such a high that to stop this fun is a real bummer. Most then ask themselves what was all the fuss about and why did I not do this before.
Your biggest problem on your first night out is that everything appears much bigger than it really is. You will think everyone is looking at you. You will worry that you will be exposed as a man in drag. You will think that someone will recognise you and you worry you won’t be able to carry it off. That is why you go out with someone like me. Who has been there done it and bought the handbag. You will need some form of reassurance on your first time out and hopefully I can provide it.
But think realistically. If you were to go down the pub (as a boy) do you really care how many others are in there and what they look like, its the same for everyone else. The may see a person who does not quite fit in the way they do , they might have a punk hair do or a PVC corset on but in reality these days who really cares. Society is fragmenting away from the old maxim that we all have to be the same, instead (unless you are a Daily Mail reader) it tends to celebrate the diversity of people. This is a particular trait of British society as we seem a much more open and tolerant place than many other countries.
So go on girl book a night out with Chateau Femme and have the time of your girl life. You need it!